Session host: Sydette Harry
Reporter: Samantha Shotzbarger
Participants: Mitch Fantin
Ben Dejournette
Amalia Alacon
Marissa Grass
Nathan Stevens
Emmalee McDonald
Jim Cyngels
Jordyn Holman
Ed Madison
Bruce Poinsette
Linda Miller
The Knot excercise:
Constant communication
- verbal
- leading and following
TRUST
- need to know: whose hand are you holding?
-“It was easier for someone else to see what I needed than for me to see it”
- Trusting that someone was telling you the truth
- Maintaining connection
- What are the things that make a good engagement?
- What about the bad?
GOOD:
- doesn’t have to go smoothly
- how do two conflicting perspectives meet?
- listening essential
- safe space
- Have some rules of engagement
— lack of rules can cause confusion or frustration
- “everyone means well, but we have the potential to mess it up.”
- good conversation often occurs when seeking to understand, not necessarily to be understood.
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?
- slightly uncomfortable
- build shared understanding
- “I wonder if I’m talking too much”
- connected
- Eureka moment!
WHAT WOULD HELP GOOD CONVOS AND ENGAGEMENT?
- What do you need:
- establish own boundaries
- context: where the conversation happens matters
–may affect choice
- not asking questions on behalf of a large group
Media perspective: always looking for a representative
–should give power to set parameters in engagement
-ask for permission “what do you want to be identified as”
- need a physically comfortable space
- “I always meet in a park”
- neutral spaces
- hostile areas/ what happens when an entire area is hostile?
— ONLINE? WHO OWNS THAT SPACE?
- easier to identify a physical area
- “30th person to ask” fatigue
options can be difficult in digital arena
- another place easy to exit from though
The third option: EFFECTIVE conversation
TAKEAWAYS:
- Choices
- Context
- Conversations as equals
- honor, intention addressing the impact
- Rules of engagement
- Some feel fulfilled/ taken from
- neutral and safe spaces in-person and online
- empathy
- space for an exit
- asking permission to engage in a conversation
- “Is it ok for you?” “Can we go there”
— or “nope. not today.”
- boundaries
